Friday, June 15, 2007

On keeping one's word...

Have you ever "promised" someone you would do something and then not do it?

LOL Does the person exist who hasn't done that?

What about a commitment, what about saying that you would but not doing it? Choosing to do something else instead?

It doesn't seem like a big thing, does it?

This can be a problem for a lot of people. It's certainly not a rare happenstance in the world of AD/HD.

In analyzing my own life, I've come to realize that it's very easy to keep commitments when I "want" to. That's easy to do. It's when something comes up, maybe better or just different, that there's a challenge in keeping my word. And I can "change my mind" in a heart beat.

What's the value of my word if I keep it when it's convenient to me but not when it becomes inconvenient or if I have changed my mind?

I think that the true value of a man's word is measured when he keeps it despite the fact that it has become inconvenient or perhaps dangerous. .

As a coach, part of my role is to keep my clients accountable for what they say they want to do and/or achieve. One area where I get the greatest push-back is in holding them accountable to do what they say they will do. No one likes to be reminded that they said they would do one when they want to veer off and do something else- me included.

I've found that adults are no better than kids when it comes to this. Sometimes worse!

It seems to me that keeping such agreements is important for several reasons:

It builds our belief that we what we say we'll do is done. And that's the first step to accomplishing our goals.

Many creative bright people, with or without AD/HD, can't stick to the plans they've devised. Not just once or twice but over the course of a lifetime. This really beats down on them.

This leads to another reason. The people in our lives don't find us trustworthy. Sometimes we do what we've committed to and other times not. They just don't know when. Barbara calls it "crazy making."

So, now you don't trust yourself, the people who love you and work with you don't trust you and you don't accomplish what you've set out to do. Most likely you end up feeling pretty bad about all of that.


A big price to pay for "such a little thing..."

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